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I love reading old newspapers. Below are newspaper clippings that make me laugh in some way. The problem is, I simply cannot understand them with my lady brain. That’s why I turned to right-wing men to explain the articles to me.
Many men responded. Each of the replies here are from different men, heroes if I may, willing to sacrifice a bit of their time for my lady brain.
I did my best to improve the image quality of these, but in a few you’ll find the text rewritten to make it easier for you to read.
1. Spinsters and their Celibate Bigotry - 1906
I’m feeling a very elderly 36 right now but at least my unused vagina isn’t suffering from a spinster tax.
We vary our tax rates on whether or not a person is married, so this tax isn’t unique in that way. The language though, makes it very clear it’s a means to force women into marriage. That their lack of marriage was bigotry. In 1912 a woman named Bertha Downing proposed an American spinster tax too, on account of her disdain for other women’s freedoms. A spinster tax she said would “make a girl hesitate before she decided to reject an eligible suitor for the sake of her books and independence.” Bertha said she “blames the tendency to intellectuality among women for the lack of marriages.” Actual spinster taxes have happened, such as in Australia in 1928.
2. WHAT IS THE JOKE - 1947
Second opinion…
A hilarious comic.
3. The Weaker Sex - 1877
This one is too blurry. I retyped it below.
The Weaker Sex.- Perhaps it was merely a spasm, but at any rate, he chuckled out, just after stepping into the street, to allow a rather large, imposing female to pass by, “I always give the sidewalk to the weaker sex.” The imposing female halted right there, and regarded him attentively. The youth essayed to move on. “Say young man,” she ejaculated, “just repeat that remark again if you please.” The chap looked confused and glanced hastily up and down the street. Then he blushed. His cheek melted away like the fleeting shadow of a materialized spirit. “I merely remarked that I always gave the sidewalk to the weaker sex.” “The what?” “The weaker sex,” he piped. Imposing female approached nearer. “I don’t want to buy a book,” he exclaimed, retreating slightly. Her hand seemed to fondle his padded shoulder blades, and then closed down on him. “Ouch!” He cried. “The what, did you say?” “Nothing, madam, please - ow - let go of my neck!” The hand had moved up toward the vicinity of the Adam’s apple in his throat. “Who, (shake) are you (shake) calling the (shake, shake) weaker (shake, shake, shake) sex?” “I - good Heavens! I only - said - (nod) that gallantry (nod, nod) compelled (bob, bob, bob) me to - ow -ugh -ugh - I’m choke-” He spun out in the middle of the highway. His hat went due west, while a delicate rattan cane evoluted in the direction of Hard’s store. The imposing female uttered her closing argument. “I’d have you to learn, young un, that there ain’t no weaker sex in Nebrasky. I kinder reckon there ain’t no man as can do, or does do more work than I do, or hundreds just like me. Don’t try to come your ”weak sex” game on me.”
Second opinion…
Someone is sexual, but it’s not the woman, it’s the way she is viewed, even when she is a angry. Her hands are fondling the man’s shoulder blades. Her voice is ejacutlating. He is wholesome, exclaiming “good Heavens!” He was a blushing youth. She an imposing female.
4. Angry Women, Angry Women - 1965
5. Just Kill Them - 1930
Hopefully Dennis makes it into a post one day. Before I go back to killing off the ugly women, here are the posts Dennis mentioned.
Dr. Josiah Oldfield make the remarks about ugly women while speaking before the women’s institute at Newberry in 1930. A woman writing under the name “Lady Kitty” gave a spectacular reply. A much better explanation than the republican men I asked. I’ve retyped it below the image because of the image quality.
“About Ugly Women
Good gracious! Did you read that cable from London in which Dr. Josiah Oldfield, physician and author, said, ‘all ugly women should be drowned.’ Phish, tush! ‘Every time a woman loses her temper or even looks cross she impresses lines of ugliness on her face,’ he added. And who, I ask you, gives ugliness to women? Bad tempered husbands, of course. What nonsense it all is! Traveling in the tram every day I study the passengers, and believe me there are far more ugly men to be seen than women.
And Ugly Men
If, according to Dr. Oldfield, ugly women should be drowned, then decidedly ugly men should be shot! I’m all for it when I see them firmly seated in a tram while tired shop girls hang on the end of a strap. The Dr. says ‘women can control their looks.’ That sounds all right - but can they control their husbands? Nagging because the household bills won’t keep down, nagging because modern youth will have its way in spite of dad. Oh! Goodness. The wonder is some women don’t grow cross-eyed. It’s the selfishness and inconsideration of men that give their womenfolk wrinkles. But after all there are so many sweet-faced women and twinkling eyed men in the world, why worry about the other? I’d give anything to see the Dr.’s portrait, wouldn’t you?”
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